choii 发表于 2023-12-24 01:43   全显示 1楼
特意去看了上中，感觉作者大大文笔确实不错，不过作为官能小说，在性爱描写阶段还是有些单调。希望可以有更多拟声词，以及在呻吟跟叫声中插入对话或者自白。如果能有更换体位描写和更详细的动作描写就更好了。
虽然说了这么多，但是大佬写的确实很好！冲爆了！
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +6 认真回复，奖励！ 2023-12-24 10:33
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